Ok. This is not the girls. This is Andrew 1.0.
As a male guest at 51 Porter I am required to watch, and then eat, all of the amazing food seen on this website plus some, all the while milling about the kitchen and contributing very little. So, it is my privilege to present tonights update, an update illustrating one way to eat at home yet feel like you are at a sports bar.
This meal is being made between the Angels spectacularly finishing off the Red Socks in three games and Denver's overtime victory against the Patriots. If you Tivo'd those games and I just ruined it for you... go ahead and watch anyway, I might be lying.
First things first: Wherever you are, find a local beer. Here in New England I chose Burlington, VT's, Magic Hat #9. It's a pale ale with a little
sweetness to compliment the frigid October air. I recommend a six-pack and that you drink at least one before cooking.
Once you have your drink sorted out pile the rest of the stuff you're going to need for this on the counter.
Ingredients:
1. A Bunch of Cheese
2. Some Beans
3. Frozen Tater-Tots
4. At Least Two Handfuls of Chips
5. Plenty of Green Onions
6. A Tomato
7. A Dollop Sour Cream
8. Guacamole
9. Love (lots of love).
Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 450° and find two oven-safe, flat, dishes. Fill one with chips and one with tater-tots, only as much as you want to eat during the football game.
2. Once the oven is hot, throw the tater-tots in there for 7 minutes.
3. While the tater-tots are getting crisp, cut up the green onions and tomatoes into little tiny pieces and top the chips with them, the cheese, beans, and a little more cheese.
4. After 7 minutes move your tater-tots around in their pan so their bottoms can get crisp and wait another 5 minutes, but this time put the chips in with them. I know, it's getting crazy... don't worry, for the next 5 minutes you are free to finish your beer, check the score, and start another beer.
5. At the end of 5 minutes, pull the dish out of the oven. Put the tater-tots on top of the chips and add some more of everything. Bake it in the oven for 3 more minutes or until stuff starts melting.
6. Feel free to put the sour cream and guacamole on the side or on top, it doesn't matter! What matters is that you're done and you can go back to the game... just like before, except now you are prepared for the overtime with beer and tater-tachos.
7. Enjoy responsibly, this meal is probably not good for you.
Difficulty:
Kelly Kut Ratio: The delicate knife work of the green onion chiffonade combined with the intricacy of opening the frozen bag of delectable tater tots elevated the risk in the preparation of this delicacy...However, the grace displayed by our guest chef, Andrew 1.0, was simply a wonder...
Taste: Ok, so you're thinking nachos? Really? On the Off the Wall blog? Hells yes! These babies were freakin' amazing. I came home after a Colbie Caillat concert (it was awesome), and I was starving. When I saw that dish of nachos sitting on the counter, I had an mmmmm-gasm right then and there even before eating. As the nachos had to be re-heated in the micro, the taste did suffer a tad, but on the whole, they enticed 8,999 mmmmm-gasms. Delicious.
Looks:
Stephanie's Hotty Hot Hottness Scale: Just the sight of this dish made my arteries scream.
The feast is about to begin:
Brilliant! This guy really knows how to make food for watching sports. I think he is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI think this guy is a mad man, possibly with ED.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is an Erectile Disfunction ad behind me. I guess they have pinpointed their target market to be Patriots & Red Socks fans.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dainty hand this chef has as he sprinkles the tater tots with salt.
ReplyDeletei freakin' love andrew 1.0. this guy's got real talent.
ReplyDeletesuccess, great.
ReplyDelete